Ants in My Pants

That's what I feel like lately. I'm only slightly obsessive but very restless lately and sometimes I can't focus on what it is I need to do. I don't know if it's because I can't decide or I just don't realize that I'm obsessing and I'm stuck. It's not that bad but just enough for me to notice. At least now I'm able to work through it quickly.

On the potty training front that has, unfortunately, stopped. After 15 accident and realizing that he did not care that he was sitting in his own poop and pee, I figured he just was not ready. About a week later he was constipated and went and sat on the potty and pooped all by himself. I think at least the concept had been introduced. It wasn't just the accidents but more the fact that I couldn't handle it any more thanks to OCD and control issues. I was making him act out because I was a little crabby and angry. It took about a week to get him back to normal (and me) My son is extremely sensitive to my behavior apparently. I still see some problems and I even got a call from the school. He seems to have authority issues and will be seeing a psychiatrist for an evaluation. I think he may either have OCD as well (it comes from both sides of the family) or he could just be a victim of bad parenting. I just want to do whatever I can so he can become a healthy adult and not waste all of his time fixing himself after the fact.

I look back and see all of the time and opportunities I wasted. I did speak to someone when I was in college. Actually I went and saw two different doctors at two different times and no one caught that there was something wrong. They accounted it to be that I was just was lazy in school or everything had to do with my mother and brother dying in the car accident. I don't deny that had some to do with it but obviously that was not my only issue. I really hope my children don't have to go through that as well.

Mommy takes the prize.

My son refused to let me change his diaper yesterday so I asked him, "What would you do if there were no more diapers?" to which he replied, "I would use the potty". Oh really! Well that is all I needed to hear because off came the diaper and into the garbage. We did save some for the night time but that's it. No more diapers and I just don't care anymore. Really I already have to clean up poop and pee and I have all wood floors. I have a couple of inexpensive area rugs and a spot bot bissle compact carpet cleaner so I am good to go.

I took off his diaper and just let him walk around naked. He cried for about an hour. He went to the bathroom and twice asked me to come in with him. I walked out both times after 15 minutes because he wasn't doing anything. I put the baby down for a nap and left him on the couch watching something on tv, hoping he would take one as well and hopped on my computer for some kid free zone time. It got very quiet and I didn't even know he wasn't on the couch until he came out of the bathroom and said mommy I pooped on the potty! I checked and sure enough there it was, a big poop in the potty. You would have thought I won a billion dollars. I immediately called the school and without hesitation she said bring him in underwear tomorrow. They were just as excited as I was.

Of course then I put him in underwear and he peed on himself. Not a lot so maybe it was a little accident but I don't care I realize this is my only option left.